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Last week, I had an interesting coaching conversation with one of my clients
He is a highly successful and ambitious senior executive, part of my Compass Leadership Program
In that session, we wanted to explore some of his fears and limiting beliefs which might be holding him back
Of this is not easy – this is deep coaching and you have to be truly vulnerable
More importantly, you have to be really courageous to look inside
He was hesitant in the beginning as we started the session
But as we progressed, he came forward and said “I fear collapsing someday from overwork & stress”
Now this is not the first time I have heard business leaders being afraid of something
Deep down, you usually know what you are afraid of, though you may have not spoken about it
Most people try find ways to overcome their fears
And that’s probably the biggest mistake they make
Because….
The key to dealing with fear is NOT to try and overcome it
The key is to acknowledge it
Accept it
And most importantly….
Find out the real reason behind it
There’s always a deeper reason behind all your fears
So I continued to dig deeper in this session
You know what the real reason behind his fear was ?
His inability to say NO
Despite being at the helm, he would end up taking on more than he could manage
“One extra hour at work won’t harm me” he would think
And that one hour would in most occasions, turn into several extra hours
Because of which, he ended up feeling stretched and overwhelmed
This gave birth to his fears
But the fact that he was finally ready to accept it and do something about it was a sign of progress
You see….
Sometimes, we are not even aware of our own fears
Sometimes, we are aware, but we don’t want to acknowledge them
We don’t want to face them. We tend to run away
But, the more you run away, the more you fuel your fears
I call this the paradox of fear
And in most occasions, you are not aware of the real reason behind your fears
But when you accept your fears, it gives you the ability to do something about it
It gives you a choice and we all know that life is all about choices
This is an important aspect of self-awareness as a leader as well as an individual
In this case, my client was now aware that his challenge was his inability to say NO, so for the remainder session, we worked in this space and created a small action plan of things he can start doing immediately
So here’s a reflective exercise for you. Take some time out and answer the following questions
Complete these following sentences as you reflect
My greatest fear is that_____________________
This prevents me from______________________
When I dig deeper, the real reason for my fear is ________________________
Today, I am accepting and acknowledging my fears. I will ( smallest action you can take )_________________
PLUS, whenever you are ready to confront your fears and move courageously ahead, you can book a short exploratory call
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